Birth Control and Other Matters of the Heart

Lately, I’ve been thinking about birth control.  If I believe that the Bible is true and that children are a blessing, why would I choose not to be blessed?  It’s a really valid point.  I should note that right now my baby is eight months old and the last few nights has started sleeping better, so it may just be rest talking.  But children are a blessing.  I want to maintain that perspective regardless of how my thoughts settle on the subject for our family.  I don’t think badly of people who are on some kind of hormonal birth control or those who choose to say that their family is complete.  I guess the question for our family is how much is there of me that can be spread around so that all the other members of my family are loved and taken care of as best as I could be able to fulfill.  I don’t know the answer to that right now.  Emotionally speaking, I could be giving more to the current members as well as to more.  Energy wise, I fluctuate.

I once heard a story of a little girl and her mother at a pro life rally.  The little girl asked her mother if a mommy and daddy could choose not to have a baby and the mother answered yes.  The little girl was quiet for a time and then said, “I think that’s selfish.”  How do you respond to something like that?  It is selfish, but it’s also much more complicated than that, but is it more complicated than that?  Am I going to pick and choose which areas to trust God’s sovereignty?  However, I don’t believe all human prevention or intervention is wrong or a lack of faith in God’s provision.  God gave us minds with which to reason.  Am I really comparing medicine to heal someone with birth control to prevent conception?  I’m not comfortable with that.  Children are a blessing.  I firmly believe that children are a blessing.

It is also a blessing to serve others.  I think I can go with this.  It is a blessing to serve others, but there are times when it is wise to step back from some responsibilities that are not necessary in order to take care of yourself and your family.  Can I take care of my whole family by refraining from adding to it?

I’ve known lots of large families.  It’s one of the benefits of being homeschooled.  I’ve known families with ten, eleven, twelve children in it.  I’m friends with one young lady from a large family, more than six children in it.  When she got married, her family had the wedding at her parents’ house and invited the wedding party to spend the night there.  What a gesture of hospitality!  After spending some time with them, I decided that large families weren’t for everyone.  Each child in his or her own way was vying for attention from all of us that were visiting and I began to understand that the antics of my friend who was getting married were also the result of looking for attention.  I want to be able to give each of my children as much attention as he or she needs in order to prevent them from being so needy in other social circumstances.

Really and truly I do believe that most mothers probably understand this principle already.  I do believe that God provides for each family what it needs.  I believe children are a blessing.  I also believe that I am finite and have finite resources.  I also believe that if God intends for someone to have a large family, He also puts the desire for it in their heart.  While it may seem that I’ve got a nice bit of closure to this subject, I have a feeling that I’ll still wrestle through it.  With each new season of life, I think I’ll always be asking myself, “Is this all I can handle?  Is God placing on my heart to have another?”  Not only do I need to trust Him with what I have, but also to place on my heart what it is that He would have for me.