Sometimes when I'm tired, I like perusing through Facebook posts and when I come to the end of the "new" news, I occasionally move on to look through Pinterest. Something is different, though. Tonight, it's like everything is yelling at me to pay attention to it. LOOK AT ME! THIS WILL IMPROVE YOUR LIFE! YOU MUST HAVE/DO THIS!
Stop.
Sometimes it's good to listen to the advice of others so they can help you figure out what works in life, but sometimes it's good to shut out the other voices and forge your own way.
This is my third baby and fourth pregnancy. I have been given a lot of information on breastfeeding, sleep issues, relaxation, and stress management. I cannot do it all. There simply isn't time, energy, or honestly inclination to do it all. I look around my house, feeling no energy. None. She cried a lot at me today and even though I spent much of it away, I do not have any energy or inclination to progress in any duty I have been given. I can maintain at best.
Thank God for G right now. He still has goober moments, don't get me wrong, but the man has been a source of strength I intuited that I would need in my life. So many words, stories, voices, well-meaning all of them, but in the roar of it all, I'm able to hear him best when he tells me not to worry. He's proven himself over and over to me that he's got a good head on his shoulders and way more often than not what he says makes sense and works.
Now that I've been married for a few years, I sometimes think about a literature lesson I got from someone who should not have been teaching literature. We were reading Anne Bradstreet's poetry and when we read "To My Dear and Loving Husband," she explained that this poem was written on a good day of marriage. Real, every day marriage was not like this--it was hard work. And there is truth to that. There is work to allow oneself to be hurt or leaned on for the benefit of someone else. However, it's these moments of peace, these moments of success that feed those days when you're spent on someone else.
