I have been on this diet for two months. And I'm starting to get over it. I know I should keep it up--I've lost weight, my acne is clearing up (unless I cheat), I have lots more energy. It's stinkingly super healthy. Oh, but baby, I miss sugar and grains. Praise God for almond flour and Stevia and watermelon, or else I would not have made it this far! A few months ago I was having a conversation with my mentor and she confronted me on some idols of the heart I had, the biggest one being comfort. I comfort myself a lot with food and body image. I want to feel comforted by being told that I look good and yet, I also want to be able to eat raw cookie dough as often as I want. Completely unrealistic, but hey, I want what I want regardless of reality.
I've had a couple of Moments about it. In the evening something will trigger it and I'll start crying to my husband about how tough this is and he encourages me and makes new suggestions and tell me how awesome I've done so far. And then it occurs to me how very connected my life is to food. First, it really shouldn't be a big deal to abstain from eating certain foods. The main purpose of food is to nourish, not to bring pleasure. Second, my job in my family is to oversee meals and housekeeping. So, this whole not-caring-about-what-we're-having-for-dinner is merely an excuse not to do my job. I had an out while I was pregnant and when the Mouse-kee was little bitty, but now it's become laziness.
And it's time to stop whining about it and just do it. Granted, the limitations take out quite a few meals that I would be fairly happy to make. Up until now, I've seen this as yet another aggravation. Not only do I have to cook, but I also am not allowed to use these things. No, it is not another load, but an opportunity to be creative about this. I've also been reminded of the seriousness of where my lifestyle was headed. I was headed toward diabetes, which, yes, can be managed. However, there are complications in having diabetes. And I am not willing to comfort myself with food I like at the risk of putting myself and my family at risk of something bad happening to me. That may sound narcissistic, but I don't think it's too far a stretch to think that (at least at this age) I'm a pretty essential part in my son's life. So, I press on. Be prepared, though. I will likely write more about the whole food thing later on. It's kind of a big deal to me right now.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
The Elephant's Name
My church has started a new Sunday school series on marriage and it's been pretty good. We've discussed the reasons for getting married and what to look for in a companion and I must admit that the presence of unmarried people and young children seems to have colored the discussion. When the class was asked, "why did you get married?" no one wanted to acknowledge the gigantic elephant in the room. Answers ranged from "companionship" to "help around the house" and "friendship." "Friendship" won as what should be the reason for getting married.
I disagree. While it's most definitely true that you should marry someone that you can be best friends with and that friendship is a wonderful basis for marriage, I am much better being friends with women than men. I understand women and there's much more commonality with women than men. I lived for four years with a roommate in college and am still close friends with my roomies. I would never have gone looking to spend the rest of my life with a man if it had not been for one thing--I am incapable of living a holy life without marital sex.
Yes, I used the "S" word. And I meant it. And since when did talking about sex or using the word "sex" become so taboo in churches? Youth leaders seem to be the only people talking about it and they're pretty good at telling the teenagers to wait, but since when do people need to talk in code from the pulpit? "Marital relations," "the physical side of marriage," "married people time." Society isn't speaking in code. Go through the line at the grocery store--a place you can't really avoid for long--and there it is in bright letters. Sex. Just glancing at magazine covers can be an educational experience to "sheltered" people. The world is obviously not going to back down from spreading false or deceiving information and if the church is supposed to stand firm, we'd better get our act together and stop making this an awkward subject. The only reason sex is an awkward subject is because we make it that way. We blush or start talking in code or . . . um, y'know, pause and stuff.
The first blunt sermon I heard on this was when a pastor was going through the seventh chapter in First Corinthians. He warned us ahead of time that these sermons would be PG-13 rated and if any parents wanted their children excluded, they were welcome to send their children to nurseries/other rooms in the church while we heard the message. Then he started with a tantalizing question for the single college students who were in the audience--would you like to know whether or not you were meant to get married. Psh-yeah! I've never paid more attention to a sermon in my life. It was quite simple. If you cannot resist sexual temptation, then God never intended for you to stay unmarried. I left elated, knowing I was never meant to stay single.
Some people may raise their eyebrows at that last statement and I realize that it is a bit revealing of my character, but I think that's something people in general need to be willing to admit and talk about if the situation arises. When my daughters reach the age when they start thinking about sexual things, I want to be able to sit down with them and have an honest conversation about it. I want to be able to give them a heads up about pitfalls that may be in their paths.
I've heard many "how we got together stories" and many times the girl would say that she prayed and told God that she was ok with being single and when she meant it, The Right One came along. Not me. I prayed because I didn't know of a holy way to deal with the strong desires I was having and that God either needed to show me how to be abstinent in a holy way (which was not happening) or bring me a husband SOON. I was married a year later. While marriage does not make the struggles go away completely, praise God that He gave us a means by which these strong desires can be satiated in a pure way!
The reason I got married is not because I was looking for friendship. I had friends. I was looking for someone I could get frisky with and our actions be as holy as prayer. I was looking for a way to express my sexuality in a holy way. I was looking for friendship set on fire.
I disagree. While it's most definitely true that you should marry someone that you can be best friends with and that friendship is a wonderful basis for marriage, I am much better being friends with women than men. I understand women and there's much more commonality with women than men. I lived for four years with a roommate in college and am still close friends with my roomies. I would never have gone looking to spend the rest of my life with a man if it had not been for one thing--I am incapable of living a holy life without marital sex.
Yes, I used the "S" word. And I meant it. And since when did talking about sex or using the word "sex" become so taboo in churches? Youth leaders seem to be the only people talking about it and they're pretty good at telling the teenagers to wait, but since when do people need to talk in code from the pulpit? "Marital relations," "the physical side of marriage," "married people time." Society isn't speaking in code. Go through the line at the grocery store--a place you can't really avoid for long--and there it is in bright letters. Sex. Just glancing at magazine covers can be an educational experience to "sheltered" people. The world is obviously not going to back down from spreading false or deceiving information and if the church is supposed to stand firm, we'd better get our act together and stop making this an awkward subject. The only reason sex is an awkward subject is because we make it that way. We blush or start talking in code or . . . um, y'know, pause and stuff.
The first blunt sermon I heard on this was when a pastor was going through the seventh chapter in First Corinthians. He warned us ahead of time that these sermons would be PG-13 rated and if any parents wanted their children excluded, they were welcome to send their children to nurseries/other rooms in the church while we heard the message. Then he started with a tantalizing question for the single college students who were in the audience--would you like to know whether or not you were meant to get married. Psh-yeah! I've never paid more attention to a sermon in my life. It was quite simple. If you cannot resist sexual temptation, then God never intended for you to stay unmarried. I left elated, knowing I was never meant to stay single.
Some people may raise their eyebrows at that last statement and I realize that it is a bit revealing of my character, but I think that's something people in general need to be willing to admit and talk about if the situation arises. When my daughters reach the age when they start thinking about sexual things, I want to be able to sit down with them and have an honest conversation about it. I want to be able to give them a heads up about pitfalls that may be in their paths.
I've heard many "how we got together stories" and many times the girl would say that she prayed and told God that she was ok with being single and when she meant it, The Right One came along. Not me. I prayed because I didn't know of a holy way to deal with the strong desires I was having and that God either needed to show me how to be abstinent in a holy way (which was not happening) or bring me a husband SOON. I was married a year later. While marriage does not make the struggles go away completely, praise God that He gave us a means by which these strong desires can be satiated in a pure way!
The reason I got married is not because I was looking for friendship. I had friends. I was looking for someone I could get frisky with and our actions be as holy as prayer. I was looking for a way to express my sexuality in a holy way. I was looking for friendship set on fire.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)